Diphenhydramine HCI 2%

..connfesion...

2003-05-21T19:45:21Z

ok..so i want to make a confesion this isnt nicole incase some of you bozos cant tell..but its..me..lyle i dont know i just really dont like nicole shes a slut and acts way to fake..she tries too hard to fit in..if shes goin to try that hard..then just get out of florida and hardcore all at once..fuckin new jack..

justkillme @ 2003-05-20T10:54:00

2003-05-20T14:56:12Z

So I Don't know why Everyone is mad at me about that Last Post. I mean.. It's true isn't it? I disabled anonymous posting.. Because someone keeps posting as Me saying that I didnt do that..... when I did.. I mean.. this IS my journal.. right?

XXXforever true and I still Don't need ANY of you!!!!!

How Much Do I Hate You?

2003-05-19T22:03:14Z

I've been thinking alot lately. I hate Daytona and the whole hardcore scene. They just all suck really hard And I am sick of everyone. Especially Nathan Eddie Shawn Lyle aAnnie Polleneli Anna and Rosie.

XXXForever True, And I still Don't Need You.

yes.

2003-05-19T05:37:36Z

It is insane how many bugs are in my room right now, I think I am going to be sick.ew.I hate bugs!!!
So 5 days going strong. <333 You are so great. Yep yep, we are inseparable! Its going to suck so much ass for 2 weeks. but I am going to write him sooo many letters. Lucky you tehehe.
The beach is fun at night, almost killing your boyfriend when you are driving is also fun. Something that is fun as wellis having your parents tell a bunch of old people that they saw you kiss and then having an old man ask if you kiss well. haha whatever. I love my family even if I hate them sometimes. haha yea I know,I am out there.
Hey JoJo this 'vitamin' soda of yours is really good. Do good on your test babay!!
Josiah...Te amo y seré siempre el tuyo no importa qué puede suceder. (I think...yea um I so faild spanish,right Tom hahaha)
NicoleMarie XXXforever true

tehehe

2003-05-17T02:20:28Z

Oh my gosh, these last 2 days have been so incredible. Who knew? Anyway I look like i have chicken pocks because of the late night with <him3 and our baby "Love" and ALL the mosquitos ewwy. but yea we had to separate at like 11:30 ish it was so sad. i keep on thinking about if it is this hard to leave him it will be HORRIBLE leaving him to go to Calif. i have been begging my parents not to make me go, it may be working..im not to sure tho. All I know is I like him....i mean i REALLY like him. I don't have to put on a "mask" to be around him....i am just ... me. and I think he may like me just as much. I could marry him, and I am going to. just wait and see. Anyway spent the day with him again today. and I will again tom. I cant wait, I am sooo giddy. I don't think i have ever fallen this hard before. i wish he was here right now. ok im going to shut up and talk to Amy now. much love to you <boy3 xxx forever true

I put a gun to my head so I could paint the wall with my brain.

2003-05-14T18:41:09Z

I sooooo can't wait till I am out of the house and free as a bird on Saturdaaaaaaaaaaay with you <333 Love to you doll <3

P.S. God is like Santa Claus for adults, just thought you might like to know that.

laaaaaaaaaaaa!!

2003-05-14T01:32:26Z

Damnit, my car still wont start. Anyone want to help me out here.
I have the best boys in the WHOLE world, for real yo.
Tehehehe! <333 I love you all!!!!
Saterday should be fun fun fun!
Oh and if anyone has plugs they dont want anymore i will buy them from you (or if you really love me you'll just give them to me)
<333
XXXforever true, and I don't need you!
p.s. I'll talk to you later sweety <3

pics from cornerstone florida

2003-05-12T04:25:15Z

Dan, singer from Zao, and brother chris kabukiscott

Brad, singer from Norma Jean, and chris kabukiscott

Brad again

Bruce from Living Sacrifice

Dan again

Brad

Brad

Bruce

left to right: Olivia, Scott, guitarist form Zao, Bruce from LS, Guitarist (i forget his name) from Norma Jean, and kabukiscott

Dan

Zao

Norma Jean

alright, thats enough

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!

2003-05-12T02:42:59Z

As of today there is only ONE MONTH LEFT till my birthday. And YES I will be in Daytona still for it. So save me a day. <3 My Chris and Amy are coming to see me. I could burst a button!!
Anywho, don't forget June 11 or 12 I want to see everyone!!
<3Nicolemaire

You're MY friends!? could have fooled me.

2003-05-05T18:05:17Z

I am so sick of people judging me and talking about me behind my back. You claim you know me, but you honestly don't. I doubt any of you will be able to walk the maze that my life consists of. I don't even know my self sometimes. You think its easy being me, all I am is a "stupid whore with no friends" anyway riight? That's what you say at least. I am so much more than what you think I am, I wish you could only see that. None of you have a right to talk about me. You know I do have feelings as hard as that may seem. whatever fuck you. I will give up on you just as you did me. You think it is fun talking about people, You think it makes you look "cool"? Well, I hope you are happy now, I guess you look really cool to all those friends you have...those "friends" that talk about you when you're not around. its a vicious cycle now isn't it?

I feel like my life has been tossed up in the air, not knowing who will catch it. I don't know where we are going, my dad is throwing so many towns around, so many places so many new things. I am scared shitless of what may happen, and what may not happen. Every area in my life is up for grabs. I know what I want, I just don't know how to get it or if I will ever get it.........

XXX forever true.

justkillme @ 2003-05-03T10:12:00

2003-05-03T14:20:05Z

<3 Last Night <3

Remeber the good times............

2003-04-18T16:05:04Z

AT SCHOOL:
Chris "Nicole let me get in front of you, you don't need food, all you are going to do is throw it up anyways"

GAS STATION:
"How many scene girls does it take to fill up the car with gas?"

HANGING OUT:
Nicole "...just think about it Nicole with electronics"
Eddie "Nicole with anything"

I don't wish for suicide,only death

2003-04-13T04:02:09Z

Unfortunately I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I should really stop though, I am getting depressed. I dont understand things, and it frustrates me. it seems like others know me better than I know myself. Life is nothing more than making more pointless beings. I mean honestly think about it. we are here for nothing more than to live and reproduce.

it hit me today, ill be 17 in less than 2 months and i still act like a 13 year old. i really need to grow up. i have so many responsibilities to manage now. ill be on my own soon too. my Mom said my "life was off track and is ashamed to have me as a daughter" where am i spose to go when my own parents dont believe in me? I feel like I let a lot of people down, more now than ever, and I am truly sorry for that. I even let myself down.

Sorry about all this "emo " stuff, it just seems like my world is being ripped apart and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Im so confused about things right now and I wish I could sap my fingers and know all the answers to my problems. But what I wish for most of all is to have someone hold my hand and help me get through this.

and my new screen name is XUNTOLDTRUTHSX soooo add it if you want to talk to me sillys.

justkillme @ 2003-04-12T01:13:00

2003-04-12T05:18:20Z

I got miss rosie from school today hung out went to 7/11 and the skate park, super fun. then we went on to the show...and guess to my suprise was there, yes,him. i didnt want to be around him at first, like AT ALL but when i did it just yea, i love being around him. even if he is some what mean. i wish he was still mine. ahhhh! but now after rosie and i moshed we are about to go to sleep. i havent been this tierd in a while, i guess everything finally caught up to me.
toodles

ooooh haha these 2 dudes were showing off....it would have been funny if they would have fallen hu rosie?

It can't be love beacuse there is no true love

2003-04-01T01:09:23Z

Today I sharpened like 20 pencils down to the eraser, don't ask me why, but I did. heh I guess thats what I do when I'm thinking, I thought so much today I made myself sick, like ew barf sick.
I was all 'emo' today until My Beautiful Michelle came to my rescue, well actually I went to her, same diff. Anyways, I picked her up and we headed to the board walk, haha where I kinda by accident totally ran a red light haha wooops, it was sooo funny, we were both snorting, my eyes started to water and every thing. Needless to say it was funny shit. We got so many honks and "hey babys" ha to bad we both have boyfriends, and they were all ugly. Then we went to the photobooth, the pictures are adorable, but hey Mish Mosh is in them so why wouldnt they be? It was so much fun to be out...only like 4 days till I can drive legally!!!
So there is a show tom., I don't know if I want to go, I really wish everyone would drop all this shit and get along.
PHOTOBOOTH CREW hang THIS WEEKEND!!!! -if you want to come IM me or E-mail me (dulceceresa @aol.com)

<3 nicole

p.s. You make me sad and confused.

jump or fall?

2003-03-16T21:15:25Z

http://www.retecool.com/sukkel/index.html

holy crap that junk is super nasty...just the way i like it.

"bang" said the gun to my head

2003-03-16T14:37:59Z

I can't believe i fell for it. Whatever. I guess you do that to all the girls hu? Put your finger down my throat and gag me. Just don't bother talking to me next time you see me, you may get bitched out. Don't worry I will hold my head up high as I fall into nothingness........

fill it out yo <3

2003-03-15T07:43:31Z

x. i ____ nicole.
x. nicole is ____.
x. if i were alone in a room with nicole, i would _______.
x. i think nicole should _____.
x.nicole needs ______.
x. i want to ____________ nicole.
x. someday nicole will ________.
x. nicole reminds me of _______.
x. without nicole _______.
x. memories of nicole are ________.
x. nicole can be __________.
x. __________ is how i describe meeting nicole.
x. worst thing about nicole is _________.
x. best thing about nicole is _________
x. i am ________ with nicole.

2 crazy girls 1 car...wait till its 4 girls....photoboothcrew

2003-03-15T06:13:01Z

so i took out the car out and picked up anna. we went to the mall and got some food and got hit on by some black dudes haha "want my nimber" hahahaha! oh shit thats great! then i ran into a bush with annas window open. oooh and to turn around i pulled a lyle and went up all into some dudes lawn! ran a few stop signs too. nicole=dumb. but i had alot of fun.
"i think i just pittled in my panties"
the show was dull and made me very confused....in other words the bands,that i saw, sucked and both lyle and mike where there............
its about time the photobooth crew hung out.
anyways big day of nothing ahead of me. amy and chris made up...what the fuck? dont know if i want to go anymore. damn i have alot on my mind. whatever fuck it.
ooooh and valerie is sooo nice!
XoXoX

one more day left

2003-03-13T05:31:20Z

..........................

justkillme @ 2003-03-12T17:31:00

2003-03-12T23:01:13Z

So you think Straight edge is over rated and "trendy" and you don't want to be like all the little kids. Well news flash everyone, so what if Straight Edge is a fucking "trend"? Everything has its phase of being "trendy" but if you know your true to yourself than why the fuck does it matter what people say. Be straight edge for yourself and no one else so when the "trend" dies you did it for no one but yourself! yea whatever fuck you.
Throwdown - "If your gonna do it, do it for yourself!
If your gonna speak it, speak it for yourself!
So that way when it comes back to day one your yourself"

at this point i could die and be happy

2003-03-09T07:37:33Z

So I hung out with Michelle and Lyle most of the day. I had so much fun, even tho i just layed there the whole time note to self do not fall asleep in the rain, it will make you sick. I felt like duch a bum.
Just being in his presence was all I needed tho.Oh well.And little michelle awww I got to be with my 2 fav. people ever, it was an all around great day. heh despite the bug bites i have from the god damn scary park.
I can't believe that Lyle is coming back to Daytona at like 1:50 in the morn. yall so better appreciate that hot assof his. Anyways i was the lucky one who woke up just in time to talk to him beofre he left, I am going yo go back to bed now tho, maybe i can sleep this junk off.
'night all. and drive safe lil Lyle buddy
<3 nicole

justkillme @ 2003-03-06T17:07:00

2003-03-06T22:26:59Z

awww michelle looks so cute with her new hair cut. haha everyone got something done to their hair yest. thats great! i have come to like my hair, despite the horibble commets i have gotten. now you guys i am a "butch dike whore slut" isnt that intellegent.

ewwy

2003-03-06T04:29:44Z

here i am bitching again...
this week hasnt been to fun.
1. i burn my ass by sitting on the stove (only i could pull that one off)
2. i got spit on too many times
3. cut my hair off..now i look like a boy
4.there issomething else but i cant rem. ooh wait FCAT death to theone who invented that!

what tha?

2003-03-02T04:08:00Z

hey, why dont u go back to the way u used to be and quit dressing like every girl in the "scene"?
look at every other girl at the show nexttime, then look at a picture of yourself fromabout a less then a year ago.... and tell me u see no differences u make me laugh. i'm done. goodbye.. i'm sure u've got a date with a nice bane 7 inch or something
-sean
*i dont get it?